Seen on the Oilers website:
It became a sort of religion for me: blaze and watch “The Boys on the Bus” or any number of Gretzky profiles. And maybe I was just blazing too often, or maybe I simply needed someone/something to look up to for a change - someone or something that had nothing to do with my work/world. Whatever the reason, this quarter century old legendary hockey club started playing a HUGE role in my daily life.
Now I just assumed that this was someone in hockey operations or marketing talking about their approach over the past three years but it turns out that it’s a Kevin Smith interview. I’m a big fan of Smith’s earlier work (particularly Clerks and Chasing Amy), although it pains me to say that nothing he’s done since Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back has worked for me. With that said (and with the acknowledgment that I’m all for legalizing marijuana and don’t care what Smith puts into his body), I’m a little surprised that they’re comfortable so publicly associating themselves with Smith - his stuff is pretty spectacularly vulgar and druggy. I first watched Clerks with some friends in high school at a friend’s house. His dad, a great guy and a card carrying Peace Country guy, sat down to spend some quality time with the lads. Then this little exchange happened:
Some girls walk past. JAY smiles at them.
JAY
Wa sup sluts?
(to SILENT BOB)
Damn Silent Bob! You one rude
motherfucker! But you’re cute as
hell.
(slowly drops to knees)
I wanna go down on you, and suckle
you.
(makes blow job neck-jerks)
And then, I wanna line up three
more guys, and make like a circus
seal…JAY makes blow job faces down an imaginary line of guys,
looking quite like a performing seal. He throws a little
humming sound behind each nod. He then hops up quickly.
That was the end of the night for my friend’s dad. In light of that, I found this picture on Twitpic particularly mindblowing - I cannot imagine what Kevin Lowe and Kevin Smith could possibly have in common beyond a shared first name:
Captions are welcome. I suggest: “That’s funny. Peca wore 37 and he sucked for most of the year too.”
He might wear a suit now, but he used to wear an NHL uniform, and I’d be utterly shocked if Lowe hasn’t told at least one bawdy joke in his life.
How about “Hey Kevin, let me show you my impression of my team’s play in the defensive zone most of the year” as a caption?
Are his pants tucked into his shoes? Is that the style now? Are his legs that fat, or does he wear gigantic pants?
If he looks like that on purpose I have no idea why he hasn’t just switched to parachute pants.
I remember my sister telling me a story about what K-lowe said to her back in the glory days when she was a waitress. It sounded a lot like Kevin Smiths dialogue in Clerks above. Not saying I have a problem with that, but lets not make K-lowe out to be any better than the rest of us.
I still can’t believe that the league adopted him as a guest celebrity blogger at NHL.com. This for the playoffs a couple of years ago.
Even harder to believe is that they accepted him back the next year on the promise that he would clean up his act. It lasted exactly one blog post.
parted ways
“Nah, its easy. The fence is only about this high. Yah just lay a sack or blanket across the top and hop right over.”
“Hey Smith, check out this hip-hop dance. LOL. Sorry bro, I’m high too. [whispers:] Dude, I was high as giraffe pussy when I signed the Khabibulin deal.”
“You know what, I did the same thing right after the 2006 Stanley Cup Finals. I just did nothing all day every day. Just sat in front of the TV blazing away in my underwear and a brown robe. The best part is you really start to look forward to the pancake breakfasts when you’re that high all the time.”
“Hey Mr. Smith, have I showed you my Stanley Cup rings? That’s right, so many I need two hands to wear ‘em all at once, bitch. Too bad I ain’t getting another so long as I’m in this city. CFP man, CFP.”