I skipped watching Peyton Manning and a bunch of other people who aren’t important winning the Super Bowl so as to pull together some numbers I’m going to be posting over the course of the week.  Today’s question: how bad is the Eastern Conference?

The answer?  They’re fucking horrible looking.  Just so you know, all numbers cited here from the era in which Bettman started screwing with the game treat OT losses as real losses and SO results as ties - the way God intended.

As of the All-Star Break, the East is at 34-51-12 against the West, a .412 winning percentage.  They’ve scored 244 goals and allowed 292.  That’s GF/GA ratio of 0.84.  Terrible.

How terrible?  Well it’s the worst performance by a conference since 1985-86, when the Campbell Conference went 118-187-25 for a .395 winning percentage.  They got outscored that year since 1155 to 1422, a GA/GF ratio of .81.  If those conferences were teams, we’d expect them to look something like this year’s Phoenix Coyotes in terms of their record.

I’ve got divisional records as well - there’ve been 104 “division seasons” since 1984-85.  The East is so bad this year that only seven of the division seasons have been worse than the East’s performance this year.  That’s really impressive - as the divisions are a lot smaller, it’s more likely that you’d find a truly craptacular one.  Off topic, but this has to be noted - four of the worst ten seasons belong to the Southeast - you really should just go there for the weather.

What’s even more interesting is for how long the East has been bad - since 1999-2000, they’re 730-902-221.  They’ve scored 4766 goals and allowed 5281.  If you translate that into an 82 game schedule for a sense of scale, that’s like going 32-40-10, scoring 211 goals and allowing 234.  The East has been last year’s Phoenix Coyotes in competition with the West, but for seven years.

I’m well aware of who has won the Stanley Cup the past three years so comments to that effect aren’t necessary (unless they refer to Calgary losing).  The question I think you need to ask if you’re one who weights those things heavily is whether a couple of seven games series outweighs the results of hundreds of other games annually.  I can’t imagine how it does.

I find the East’s accomplishment in being this bad this year more impressive than that of the Campbell Conference in 1985-86.  The key difference is the availability of player movement.  As that’s increased in sport, parity has increased along with it.  Free movement of players makes it harder for great teams to develop as people decide to leave or their teams can no longer afford to keep them.  You would expect it to be more difficult to sustain a long term edge and yet the West has done it for seven years and counting.  I’m not sure why that is but I suspect that there’s something to be said for mediocrity breeding further mediocrity.  Teams out West have greater pressure to excel because they need to achieve a higher level in order to accomplish anything.  Out East, the bar is a lot lower and there’s less of an incentive for teams to ensure that they’re well run.  If you trade Joe Thornton for magic beans, well someone else will gift you a hot prospect for a suspect goalie.  No hole is too large to get out of because someone else will do something even dumber.

There was a pretty wide chasm between the National League and the American League, with the NL being the weaker league.  If anything, the gap in the NHL appears larger and has been around for a longer period of time.  I don’t really have any concrete theories as to why but I’m pretty sure it’s real.